Written January 24, 2014
My husband is at Sundance. The Film Festival. He goes most years, with friends from our L.A. days – guys who are involved in “the industry” one way or another, but more importantly are fun to hang out with. I used to get mad when he would leave for this yearly “work trip,” as it felt less like work and more like an excuse to watch a ton of movies and go out for dinner and beers every night. And it almost always meant he was away for my birthday. And I was jealous.
But this year I’m ecstatic for him. Because he’s getting a break from work work, while diving into the work he really needs to be doing – feeding his movie-loving soul, getting inspiration, remembering why he loves his profession. Sometimes I wish my job of mom involved movies and beer rather than poopy diapers and snack-making, but I really can’t fault him for having a cool career.
Or rather I can, and I have, but it does no one any good.
Neither has it worked for him to defend the super-fun work trip as serious business.
Really, we need to let it be what it is: a trip for work AND play. I’m not sure why we both tried to make it one or the other. Maybe now that he’s 40, and I’m nearly there, we’re understanding the importance of their coexistence.
I would hope being a mom is both. It should be. It may not involve as much beer as movie-making does, but it involves lots of smooches and giggles and kitchen dance parties. I’ll just aim for more of those.
There should be fun in being a filmmaker, or a teacher, doctor, missionary, even a garbage man. Otherwise life is boring, to say it plainly. And I’m against boring. I’m for fun.
So have fun, Marc! I’ll try to have fun here at home, too.